This psychology of oppression class I’m taking puts me in the worst moods. I love the class, but the subject matter is so sad. It’s really made me come to terms with my own racism. Honestly, if a white person had said the things that I’ve said about black people aloud, they’d get so much shit for it. I was looking back at how I viewed the world when I was 15 and it’s really disturbing. I just really did not like black people at all. I didn’t have an issue about my skin color or being Nigerian, but I didn’t want to be associated with African Americans. There are a lot of Africans that feel that way, they just don’t say it. People don’t see the diversity among black people, so they clump us all into one group based on something as arbitrary as the amount of melanin your skin produces. They just assume that because you’re black you’re going to immediately feel some kind of kinship, but I never had that feeling. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always felt really uncomfortable around large groups of black people, and I’d get so self conscious because I didn’t think that they would accept me. I don’t know why I’m typing in the past tense, because this is still partially true today, but now that I recognize it, I’d really like to change it. It’s not fair for me to think that I’m better than anyone.I hate people that think that way. I could easily act just like any other black girl if I had different friends growing up or was born in a different area. Every advantage that I have in life is based on circumstance. People don’t chose their culture, they’re born into it. So it’s not right for me to judge someone simply based on their culture. That’s just terrible.